Do you ever notice how easily a leader can accidentally hog the spotlight and do a one-man show instead of a collaboration? You see a manager or a leader attend your meetings but turn their head around when your team experiences difficulties and even surface during brainstorming discussions.
Why is this so? It’s maybe because of stagnant leadership ideas. Some leaders may think they have to know everything, the notion that leadership is all about instructing everyone what to do, the thought that the leader has to lead at all times, and the presumption that their voice is the biggest. These may be subconsciously being manifested by leaders, but what they do not realize is that it hinders the team’s progress and good dynamics.
Effective leaders, like Satya Nadella at Microsoft, who enjoy leading by listening and empowerment, recognize the value of being able to sense when to direct and when to facilitate. They recommend challenging questions, making sure all have a voice, and listening first before speaking, as this is needed far more often.
In order to facilitate and not dominate as a leader, consider the following:
It's best to slow down before providing solutions. You can start by defining the real problem and outlining the type of success your team is looking for. Stay away from trying to solve the wrong problem by simply pausing and drilling deeper. This is a technique often suggested by Frances Frei and Anne Morriss. After this, it's good to brainstorm all potential solutions and encourage your team to speak without the fear of getting criticized. Expand on each other and look for different perspectives. You can share each other’s contribution before you wrap up and summarize your ideas.
You can try to stir up your regular open discussion from time to time. This will encourage your team to share their most creative ideas. You can also attempt silent brainstorming before you meet with the team (it’s a technique employed by IDEO), followed by brief input from each member. You can, perhaps, let them share their thoughts every 5 minutes or so if it’s a short meeting, or maybe in longer intervals for longer team discussions. You also need to actively look for their different perspectives. Empower them by allowing them to take charge in solving the problem by splitting the team into small groups and then having each group report back their results.
Avoid the urge to dive in and solve the problem immediately. Instead, try to start the conversation by learning their first thoughts and what they have already thought through. Ask them what they think the cause of the problem is and what they see as the ideal outcome, together with some possible steps to achieve it. This is the "spot coaching" method, which many experts, such as Marshall Goldsmith are utilizing.
The best advice of all? At times, it's best to keep quiet.
If you hold the most influence in the room, you need to have your active listening skills. Learn to listen to understand and not just to react. Observe who speaks and who remains silent. Reinforce their points with follow-up questions and paraphrasing to make sure you stay on the same page. If you are not sure of your next step, it's best to remain silent and listen carefully. This way, you can avoid the trap of dominating instead of facilitating.
