Remember all those times Mark Zuckerberg talked about “connecting the world”? Well, a Los Angeles judge just connected him to the witness stand. Guess the metaverse didn’t have a “courtroom” update for this one.
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has officially been ordered to testify at the first trial over social media’s “adverse effects” on younger users. Yes, the same guy who brought us the Like button is now being asked to explain why kids can’t stop refreshing their feeds. Turns out dopamine addiction doesn’t sound as charming when it’s in a lawsuit.
According to CNBC, Judge Carolyn Kuhl ruled that Zuckerberg, along with Snap CEO Evan Spiegel and Instagram head Adam Mosseri, will need to show up in court this January. The CEOs reportedly tried to get out of it (because obviously), but the judge said no. Imagine the group chat that day, “Wait, we actually have to go?”
Judge Kuhl made it clear that the CEOs’ testimonies are, quote, “uniquely relevant.” What does this mean? Who else knows more about designing dopamine loops for teenagers than the people who approved them? It’s like asking the inventor of the slot machine why people keep pulling the lever.
The judge wrote that each CEO’s “knowledge of harms, and failure to take available steps to avoid such harms,” could show negligence. Which is legal speak for “you knew it was addictive and still hit ‘publish.’” Somewhere, an entire PR team just sighed into their oat milk lattes.
Law360 was the first to report the order, which sounds like the courtroom equivalent of saying, “You’re tagged. No take-backs.” It’s poetic, really, the social network that built the tagging feature just got tagged by the legal system.
The trial is one of many accusing social media giants of intentionally creating platforms that mess with young users’ mental health. Basically, the argument goes like this:
In other words, “we made the digital equivalent of junk food, then acted surprised when everyone got hooked.”
If that sounds familiar, it’s because New York City filed a similar lawsuit earlier this month, accusing several platforms of feeding mental health issues in kids. Meanwhile, back in January, Zuckerberg and other tech leaders were already hauled into a Senate hearing about child safety on social media. Spoiler? Lots of talk, little action, and probably a few rehearsed “we care deeply about user well-being” lines.
Meta, of course, tried to stop Zuckerberg and Mosseri from being forced to testify. The company argued that previous testimony should be enough, because obviously, billionaires are busy. Their official reason: attending more in-person trials would “interfere with business” and set a bad precedent. Meaning, “We’d rather just email you some PDFs and call it a day.”
Snap took the same route, calling the judge’s order an “abuse of discretion.” (Lawyer speak for “we really don’t want to do this.”) Maybe they can send a disappearing message to the court instead.
Snap’s lawyers at Kirkland & Ellis released a statement to CNBC insisting the ruling has nothing to do with the actual claims. They also reminded everyone that their CEO has already done “hours of deposition testimony,” as if saying “we’ve talked about this enough” works in court. Cute.
The bigger question here isn’t just if these CEOs will show up, but what they’ll actually say. If the court finds that these platforms were designed to hook young people, and that the execs knew, it could change how social media operates forever. Which means your feed might finally get less addictive… or just more ads pretending to care about your wellness.
Imagine apps with actual built-in safeguards instead of “mental health reminders” you have to find in the settings menu. Or maybe, stay with me here, social media platforms that don’t rely on keeping you glued to your screen. Wild concept, right?
After years of “we’re just the platform,” Big Tech might finally have to answer for the chaos it helped create. For now, we’ll all be watching January’s trial like it’s a new season of The Social Network: Court Edition. The only difference is this time, nobody’s coding, they’re lawyering up.
Because for once, it’s not just the users scrolling endlessly, it’s the CEOs who’ll have to explain why they designed it that way. Somewhere, a notification just popped up: “Justice is typing…”
